I broke up with my cheater boyfriend about seven months ago and it's really starting to get to me. I thought I was glad to have the jerk gone, but now I am feeling physically needy. I have only had sex a couple of times, both of which were one night stands. I don't like not getting any and I'm wondering if I made a mistake. All of my friends are in serious relationships, although, I have to admit, none of them are all that happy. But they are all getting laid! Do I sacrifice my dignity or my sex life?

-- Missing the Regular Pump

It's unfortunate that you are missing the regular pump, but haven't you heard of the self serve pump? It's quite common and accessible these days, and I suggest you give it a try before you even consider losing an ounce of dignity to a cheating loser.

Is getting regular sex worth constantly wondering about who else he is sleeping with? Not to mention the countless diseases he will end up subjecting you to.

So what if your friends are all hooked up? I've heard that misery loves company, so get away from the unhappy couples and find some single friends to hang out with. A group of single women act as major penis magnets and if regular sex is what you need, then go out and find yourself a boytoy. What is a boytoy, you ask? Let me pull out the siren dictionary for you.

Boytoy (noun)
a) Young, gorgeous man, preferably younger than the self, who performs sexual duties on a regular basis.
b) One who asks no questions, carries a pager and is constantly erect.
c) A well-versed man who understands the meaning of the following phrases:
1. I have a headache tonight.
2. I don't care if the Broncos are ahead, I need a massage.
3. It's 3 AM and time for my sponge bath.
d) A man who has the ability to breathe out his ears if necessary during his ever-important tongue baths.

So now that you are equipped with the facts, go out there and get yourself one of these commodities, and trust me, they are out there in massive quantities. Then when you are getting the regular lovin' you have been aching for, you can use all that extra energy that was previously wasted on loser men (unfortunately, an even bigger group out there) and teach all your long lost friends -- you know, the unlucky ones putting up with crap from non-boytoy types -- how to really live. Now do it! Go out there and be an example of a siren babe.

My girlfriend hates wearing high heels, but I think they're really sexy. I don't want to leave her, but I fantasize about her wearing heels while we have sex. I don't understand why she won't indulge me with sexy footwear?

-- Sexy Stilleto Stud

Why does she hate high heels? If it's the fact that they are uncomfortable, just tell her that I've yet to find a pair of sexy stilettos that bother me with my legs stretched high in the air. In fact, there are times I insist on leaving my heels on during sex so that I can make a rapid exit.

If comfort isn't the issue, then we have to figure out why she doesn't want to do something that she knows turns you on.

Since I'm not usually one to hold back on fulfilling a man's fantasy, I asked several of my hot friends for a possible answer. These are some of the reasons they gave me....

1) "Maybe she is mad at him and he needs to figure out what the hell he has done if he ever wants to get his dick wet again!" (Ok, so she 's a little extreme. Read on.)

2) "Perhaps she thinks it reminds him of a past lover and she is jealous." (Interesting possibility.)

3) "I'll bet he's one of those guys that gets off too fast and she's afraid if she introduces anything inticing into their lovemaking that she will never have an orgasm again." (Why didn't I think of that one first!)

4) "Why is he so worried about what turns him on? What has he done for her lately?" (Yes, that was from the same girl who gave answer number 1.)

So now all you can do is beg her to wear them and, of course, that means you need to buy them for her. Have you seen how expensive those things are these days?

Siren Chat is by Stephanie Glenn of sirenonline.com and Ladies En Confidente.