Cruddy
by Lynda Barry

Okay, so I don't really have time to read books. Between juggling three jobs, going to school, hanging out with friends, lugging my dirty clothes down to the laundromat, shopping for groceries, cleaning the cat box, writing a novel, sleeping every once in a while, and watching TV (yes, I must always make time for TV), I don't have any occasion to just lounge around reading stories. In fact, any time I sit still for more than a minute, I start to feel guilty.

Sound familiar?

But there are a few moments in life that are sacred, where sitting still is mandatory, where even the most driven and hard-working among us must put their asses down and pause.

Yes, I'm talking about going to the bathroom.

Before I get too vulgar, I must tell you about my latest mission in life -- to find books (worthwhile, provocative, literary books) which can be enjoyed during those solitary stretches in the sanctuary of the john.

My first selection is Cruddy by Lynda Barry, an illustrated novel that reads like Judy Blume on acid. The story of Roberta Rohbenson takes place in 1971 with alternating chapters (they're short) that flash back to five years before, when this little girl went on a killing spree with her father. This is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas meets Are You There God, It's Me Margaret. Every paragraph is like a kick in the face. The first person narrative begins at the final climax of the story, and five pages in, we learn that Roberta is a druggie, a murderer, and dead. You're probably wondering why you'd want to read a novel when you know the end before you start?

It's the voice of the narrator that sucks you in. The more you learn about this girl and her love of sock monkeys, cute doggies, heavy drinking, and knife-collecting, the more you want to know. Barry doesn't tell you about scenes as much as she creates the actual physical sensation within the reader. When Roberta gets drunk and pukes, the feeling isn't just described: "There was a sudden waterfall eruption of an intense booze fountain that had many hard pulses and many dramatic splurts before it ran out of power."

Roberta's dad refuses to acknowledge his kid is female and constantly refers to her as "Clyde." He teaches her to drink, smoke, and to kill. His words of advice to his little girl are, "Expect the unexpected. And whenever possible, be the unexpected." Even though Barry tells you the end of the story at the beginning, everything about Cruddy is unexpected. From the eerie pencil drawings to the descriptions of bloody mayhem, Cruddy leaves you reeling from the impact of one jolting scene after another.

My childhood was free of violence and drugs, but I was a pissed off kid just like every other teenager I know. With her shocking imagery and razor-sharp prose, Lynda Barry reminds us that little girls aren't always made of sugar and spice. Sometimes girls get angry. Sometimes girls get revenge. And sometimes that's okay. A