Volume 2, Issue 14 June 22 - July 5, 2000

Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to become the leader of your own cult? The money is pretty good (not to mention tax-exempt), and you won't have to do any work except cash your followers' paychecks. If you've been feeling kind of low, cult leadership will be a great boost to your self-esteem. Imagine how great it will be to come home to your underground bunker and have 20 people fall at your feet, calling you "God" and demanding to know when it's going to be time to get on the magic spaceship.

But how do you go about becoming the leader of a cult? Do you take out an ad in the classifieds? "Charismatic woman seeks impressionable, weak-willed suckers for good times, long walks on the beach, and communion with the eternal."

Well, if you're thinking of starting your own cult but don't know where to begin, don't worry. Jaina Davis of the zine "Flatter" has a step-by-step plan for you in her article "How to Become a Cult Guru." Unfortunately, you probably don't know where to get "Flatter," and I'll bet the lives of ten of my cult members that you won't find this zine in any bookstore. Don't panic. The best of this zine and many others is collected in "The Book of Zines, Readings from the Fringe," edited by Chip Rowe.

So you may be asking, what the hell is a zine? A zine (pronounced "zeen") is a homemade magazine written and illustrated by people with too much time on their hands. These underground magazines are xeroxed at Kinkos (or at work when the boss isn't looking) and usually distributed by word of mouth. Because zines are self-published and made for fun instead of profit, their subjects can touch on just about anything from "how to make fruit leather underwear" to reports on the "Great Boston Molasses Flood of 1919."

What makes "Book of Zines" ideal for bathroom reading is not only that the articles are short (about two pages each with pictures) but that the viewpoints expressed are just so strange. Can you imagine picking up your average corporate-sponsored magazine and finding instructions for how to create your own "Solve it Yourself JFK Assassination Diorama?" How about an in-depth interview with the Pillsbury Doughboy?

Of course not every word in "Book of Zines" is hilarious. I recommend skipping around for items that interest you. A few of my favorites included the zine "TV Grind" which used painstaking research to reveal "The Truth about Fonzie and Mrs. C." "Crank" gave a detailed history on trepanation (the opening of a hole in the skull) as well as hints for how to perform the procedure at home.

So if you're looking for a guide to cult leadership or a recipe for pork brains, pick up "Book of Zines." Not only will it keep you company in the bathroom, but the JFK diorama will give you something (else) to do with your hands. B+