Volume 2, Issue 15 June 6 - July 19,2000

Think size doesn't matter? Are your mom and aunt the only women who say you're good looking and women must be nuts to avoid you? Stephanie Glenn will set you straight in Siren Chat. Stephanie also has her own website at www.sirenonline.com. E-mail her at sirenchat@aol.com, and ask her anything you want!

Dear Stephanie,

How can you tell when a girl is only after your money? What are the hints that give it away and how can you tell right off the bat so I don't get suckered again? This has happened more times than I would care to admit.
--Mr. Got Bucks

Dear Mr. Got Bucks,

For $1,000 I will tell you!

I should have just left it at that, but it is my duty as your advice mistress to at least attempt to give you a clue ... something you are in desperate need of.

The way I see it, if you don't advertise that you're Mr. Got Bucks, then gold digging sluts won't know you are there to be used. In fact, they won't mess with you at all. But I suspect you, just like other men who flash their wealth, feel you can't get a girl on your personality and looks alone. A friend of mine just met a guy while she was driving. He pulled up beside her in a Harley and asked her for her number. At first she was intrigued--hot guy, hot bike. However, when he called her a couple of days later, her intrigue turned into disgust in about the time it takes a moron guy to show his true colors, which was five minutes.

In that fateful five minutes, he told her that he owns two properties, several businesses and, the clincher, that he was dropping his Harley off to get osterich seats installed. That was their first and last conversation. Had she been a gold digging slut, she would have been all over this idiot and she could have taken him for a lot. Had she been impressed about the osterich seats, I would have kicked her ass.

So, now we must decide if you are attracting these users to you. If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, then chances are it's your fault, and you deserve what you get.

1. Do you have a spanking new red corvette?
2. Do you ask women to come over to go hot tubbing?
3. Do you wear gold chains weighing in at over one pound?
4. Do you conviently leave your stock portfolio and tax returns on the coffee table next to your magazines?
5. Do you use phrases like, "Hey doll, would you like to come to Vegas for the weekend?" to women you have just met?
6. Have you ever said, "Don't you know who I am?"
7. Do you spend lots of money on first dates hoping to get some?
8. Do you bathe in cologne?
9. Do you pull out your bulging-full gold money clip to pay the parking meter?
10. Does any part of your wardrobe include the skin of any animal on the endangered species list?
11. Do you tell women about all of your assets and jobs before you ask them their name?

So Mr. Got Bucks, my advice to you is to initially hide the fact that you have a lot of money and try developing some other redeeming qualities besides quickest draw of wallet in the west. And when you do get involved again, make sure she wants to do more things with you than shopping. Also, you should be able to tell if her feelings are authentic by the way she kisses you. If she doesn't kiss you at all, then there's your answer.

Thought for the week: Sex Appeal is 50% of what you have and 50% of what others think you have!