Volume 2, Issue 21 September 28 - October 11, 2000

While Jimmy Buffet wasted away in Margaritaville and Leon Russel longed to go back to the island, I found my own little cove of waterfront wistfulness tucked away on Gaylord Street.

The sunlight spilled languidly into the darkness of the bar, edging ever forward, over the weathered boards of the floor toward my travelweary feet... Oh, uh, sorry, musta been channeling a little Hemmingway there. All I know for sure is the weathered waterfront vibe and warm, laid back atmosphere really made me want to kick my shoes off, quit my job, sell my car and have a few beers for about a month or so.

After calling my sponsor, I went ahead and ordered some awesome rock shrimp tacos and two tortillas brimming over with shrimp and melted cheese, served on a bed of both red and green pepper salsas. It kinda made me a little thirsty so I looked over the drinks list: dark beer, light beer, short beer, tall beer, and for those of you who drink, might I suggest a nice BEER! I decide to speed dial the sponsor again while having a lovely beer glass full of refreshing water, ahhhh. Then I tried the fish and chips with coleslaw.

The fish was deep-fried, the chips were deep-fried, the slaw was even deep-fried, all in BEER batter ... yesss, fried beer, better than boiled beer but not as good as a beer bath! And maybe for dessert, a nice beer float! Aw, come on, Hemingway would have. God gave you a liver for a reason, USE IT! Go ahead, for God's sake, man, indulge for those of us who can't, no, really, I'm okay, you go ahead! I'll just be over here in the corner, hurting the cat. I gotta get outta here, maybe if I cut this short I can get to a A. A. meeting or something...

Tattoo grade: To quote Jimmy: "It's a real beauty, a Mexican cutie, but how it got here I haven't a clue"...

Wrestling grade: To quote Jake The Snake Roberts: "What town is this anyway?"

B

Bottoms Up!