BOTTOMS UP!

Picture this: You've been shredding the slopes all day. Your legs are so sore that they shake with each step on the accelerator as you crawl east at the pace of a wagon train on I-70. Your stomach voices its opinion on being shunned all day in favor of virgin powder as you squeeze your legs together, looking for a pull-out and the much-anticipated alleviation of your bladder, relief you're sure will border on a spiritual experience.

Although we proudly wear the moniker of the Master Species, human nature sometimes amazes me. Particularly when we choose to punish ourselves for having such a good time in the mountains. Rather than pulling off for an hour or two to let the highway rush work its way out, we put up with sitting in a bottle-neck of automotive influx. Many quality bars and restaurants dot the mountainside waiting for your business; my favorite choice is in historic Georgetown where you'll find one of the best good-time institutions this side of the Eisenhower Tunnel.

When I speak of the Red Ram, I usually get an answer like, "Yeah, I've heard of it but I haven't ever been there." Well, there is no better time than ski season to stop on in. This storied structure serves as the best cure for an empty belly on a thin wallet. It represents a regular winter sanctuary where you can regain some equilibrium from road rage while recapturing that all-important peace of mind.

The Fish Block Building, which now houses the Red Ram, was constructed during the summers of 1888 and 1889 on the heels of the boom in silver mining along Clear Creek. For six years, Dave Bauer has run the establishment, maintaining a cordial atmosphere that leaks its legend through every seam of old floor planking to an antique bar back that has reflected 50 years of good times in its mirrors.

Happy hour is set to the time of skiers' return. From 4-7 p. m. wells and pints of microbrew are $2, with domestic pints only $1. Everything off the menu is homemade by the hands of three superlative chefsÑ Rocket, Pat Bauer and Neil JaffeyÑ known countywide for their awesome basket of baby-back ribs and the 10-12 ounce prime rib platter they serve open-face for only $7.95. These two meals are just the beginning of a menu priced 20 years behind the times.

Above the main level saloon is a deck of ten tables that look down on the room. There is also a separate dining area in the back that can be reserved for private parties. But what defines the Red Ram is its sub-level Rathskeller, a little getaway Dave Bauer reopened three years ago, complete with every luxury a weary, thirsty snowdog could ask for. Grab a cocktail and a cigar and sit on a cushy old couch to laugh at the expense of the snowplower that face-planted under the chair-lift that afternoon. You can also watch a game on the big screen, shoot pool or just lean back and read the names burned into the ceiling by patrons during the '60s. Grab a seat at the bar and listen to the locals as they tell stories of the ghost that roams the Red Ram, or the passageways that once led miners underground to a nearby whorehouse. The people of Georgetown are good folk, and refugees from I-70 are all welcome to join these amicable regulars for a cocktail in a sanctum that they take much pride in calling home. The Rathskeller opens at 5 p. m. except on Sundays, when it opens at noon for football games. Thursday night is also a popular time as Chuck Burt takes the bar to serve up any kind of martini your heart desires.

I recommend, if you have any strength left from skiing or snowboarding, that you take a few minutes and walk the streets of Historic Georgetown. Also, be sure not to leave the Red Ram before buying a bottle of bartender Mark Wallisa's Hot Buttered Rum Mix, a delicious concoction to have close at hand during the cold months to come. A