THE PARTY POOPER

For months (since January) I've been obsessed with this issue. Deciding winners was an arduous and sometimes agonizing task, and I'd stay awake all night debating in my mind over which band, which restaurant, which actress really made a difference in the local entertainment community this year. As you would expect, all this thinking about over-achievers made me cranky.

So here, before we dig into what's great about Colorado: the things that sucked about the past 12 months or so.

• Chloe's closing. Picture this: a struggling young magazine finally gets its first taste of the big-time, moving out of a rat-hole on Broadway to a swank, newly redecorated office space on Colfax in the heart of a rejuvinated Capitol Hill. We're thrilled with the clean carpets, the working toilets, the separate offices. Then, just after we move in, a high-class restaurant moves in downstairs. We introduce ourselves, we hit it off with the owners, we receive a nice thick stack of free drink coupons. Cilicia eats at the place and gives it her seal of eloquent approval. (Bobby was too busy pondering the nature of Greek cuisine at the time.) All of us are ready to settle in to the time-honored journalistic routine of hard work by day, hard drinking by evening, and back to more sort-of hard work by night. Then the place shuts down without warning, leaving the bottles of liquor on the shelves and the tables meticulously set for fine dining. Every once in a while, you might see a Go-Go employee pressed up against the window of closed Chloe's, tapping the glass like the chick in the Mervyn's commercial: "Open. Open. Open." Will somebody please buy the damn restaurant already and let us redeem these coupons?

• The parking meters that stay active until 10 pm downtown. If you worked in San Francisco (or any other major city without an army of evil nocturnal parking meters), you could look forward all day to getting out of the office, driving downtown, and sweeping up the parking place at 8 pm some other sucker paid $5 to use for an hour just before you came along. Parking in party central should be free after 8. It's an American right. Fifteen years ago, you couldn't pay people to walk the 16th Street Mall at night. Why punish them for changing their minds now? Okay, Denver, here's the deal. Either kill the metered parking at 8 pm, or take all the funds from 8 to 10 pm parking and put the money toward repaying the taxpayers for Not-Mile-High Stadium.

• The construction on the Boulder Turnpike. I've seen entire cities get built (namely Highlands Ranch) in the time it's taking them to do whatever they're doing up there. Get it over with. Or, just go all out and dig an insumountable trench between Denver and Boulder, so that nobody can get back and forth at all. At least we wouldn't have any false hope of making it.

Well, that's really all there is. Overall, it's been a great year for us, and we hope it's been the same for you. On to the happy stuff!

BLACK BELTS AND WHITE PEOPLE

Dear sir,
I picked up my February 15-28 copy [Volume 3, Issue 4] of Go-Go Magazine and read with great interest the "Art of War" article. I found some items in the Taekwon-Do section that I would like to correct. [Webmaster's Note: The opinionated webmaster had removed the offending section before the article was posted to the website.]

The statistics quoted are for only one Taekwon-Do organization-- the World Taekwondo Federation (WTF). The WTF is the body the controls Olympic Taekwondo. There is another, older, organization that is much different than the WTF. It is the International Taekwon-Do Federation (ITF).

The ITF was founded by General Choi Hong Hi. General Choi is credited with the creation of the name Taekwon-Do in 1955, while serving in the South Korean military. The ITF has over 40 million members worldwide (by its own count).

The National Governing Body for the ITF in the United States is the United States Taekwon-Do Federation (USTF) located in Broomfield, Colorado. The President of the USTF is Grand Master Charles E. Sereff. Grand Master Sereff is a 9th Degree Black Belt-- the first non-Oriental awarded that rank. In addition, the Secretary General of the USTF is Master Renee Sereff, 7th Degree Black Belt. Master Sereff was the first women to reach that very special rank.

Master Chuck Norris was awarded an honorary 8th Degree Black Belt by the ITF, not the WTF. General Choi did this to honor the contributions of Master Norris to the Martial Arts and for his anti-drug work. As you can see from above, Master Norris was not the first Westerner to receive an 8th Dan. Bob Wall and Bob Chaney also received 8th Dans with Master Norris.

By visiting the website www.itf-general-choi.com or www.itf-taekwondo.com, you will find that the Masters of the ITF come from all over the world. The majority are in their 50s or younger.

The ITF truly is a worldwide organization. --Robert Martin ITF/ USTF 4th Degree Black Belt President, North Jefferson Taekwon-Do Maestas Taekwon-Do 303-998-7545

ANOTHER LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Howdy, just wanted to let you folks know how much I appreciate your paper. This issue in particular is really good. --ride_em_pony via e-mail

See? Letters don't have to have any substance to be printed. They just have to make us feel good. Or include valuable coupons.

YET ANOTHER LETTER TO THE EDITOR

I just wanted to show you THIS... its a HOT pic of ME [CLICK HERE] and see me LIVE right NOW! email me back cutie... --littleninagirl22 via e-mail

Thanks for the picture, and keep reading Go-Go!

--Chris J. Magyar