Volume 3, Issue 12
June 7 - June 20, 2001

One Last Thing

Andrew Wells

PRAIRIE DOG ARMAGEDDON

CUTE RODENTS FACE THE PLAGUE WITH DETERMINATION AND POISE

The plague has infected prairie dogs near Bear Creek Lake Park, and the disease could be spreading among rodents from Morrison to Green Mountain Open Space Park. Health officials are advising park visitors and residents to stay away from rodents, since the plague can be carried by a variety of rodents besides prairie dogs. That includes squirrels, mice, pack rats and rock squirrels. --Denver Post, 5/ 23/ 2001

Martha Witherby carries herself with a grace that belies the grief she endures. She is a working mother who struggles to raise her three surviving children without a father. The task is daunting for the four-year-old Lakewood female prairie dog, for the epidemic that claimed her mate is still ravaging the town she grew up in.

"This disease is terrible. It's not like Samuel was run over by a truck or snatched by a hawk," Witherby said of her late breeding partner. "Those things are so common. But this plague, I can't understand it." Indeed, the outbreak of plague, which killed nearly one-hundredth of all European rodents in the mid-1300s, has sent shockwaves throughout prairie dog colonies in the Front Range. Part of problem is unfamiliarity. While the disease cycles through prairie dog populations every five or 10 years, few of communal rodents live past the age of five. This lack of experience, combined a total lack of prophylactic measures, has reduced the Bear Creek Lake colony to a fraction of its normal size.

"We're pretty much screwed," said Dr. Magnus Chitters, an epidemiologist at the burrow by the tree stump. Chitter's gloomy outlook is a reflection of what he views as a lack of awareness within the prairie dog community. "When I was at Johns Hopkins, they always said an informed public was crucial to public health, but the illiteracy rate in this colony is staggering." While prairie dog communication includes numerous audible "calls" and postures, there are none that explain the extensive hygienic measures that can help curb plague transmission. Compounding the problem is the mouth-to-mouth contact and grooming that play an integral part of the species' social interaction.

"Sure, I could tell the other coterie females and progeny, 'We're dying from infections of communicable bacterium. ' But I'd have to grind my muzzle into theirs to do it. It's all rather counterproductive," said Melanie Tidwell, a social worker from the gravel path ward.

Most human health officials in Lakewood and Denver did return phone calls, asking that they not be called again on the subject. However, one area general practitioner, Dr. Steven Marks, did respond. "This plague should pose little threat to people," Marks said. "Just avoid contact with the diseased vermin and wait for the plague to dissipate as it eliminates the colony."

"Well, thank you, Pat Buchanan," responded Chitters to Marks' statement. Despite the apparent lack of outside concern for the welfare of prairie dogs, Chitters continues his work to devise a serum to treat plague victims. "I'm hoping to use [the serum] to treat bubonic symptoms, before the plague becomes pneumonic, which is often the natural course," he said. Bubonic plague is characterized by painful swellings, or buboes, in the neck, groin, legs and armpits. Pneumonic plague is highly contagious as it infects the lungs and can be transmitted by coughing or sneezing. But Chitter's efforts in formulating a serum have been frustrating. "You try making an effective antibiotic out of twigs, pus and dirt in complete darkness with no opposable thumbs or lab equipment. As I said, we're screwed," he lamented.

With the rotting, disfigured corpses of friends and family scattered above ground and blocking passageways below, and no scientific cure in site, many Lakewood prairie dogs are finding assurance in religion.

"We're all gonna die." said Reverend Colin Britches during a revival sermon in the ditch. "Whether it is by pestilence or luxury condominium development, it doesn't matter. The impeccable, immutable boot of judgment is upon us all." Britches elaborated, saying the wrath of God was inevitable when the youth settle into monogamous relationships and postpone breeding until they are two or three years old.

"I agree with everything the Reverend said. Especially that bit about the abomination of mating outside the family," said Ted Buttercup, a grass nibbler who attended the service with three life part- ners and several dozen of his surviving offspring. A Colin Britches Ministries spokesrodent reported that attendance has doubled since the onset of the plague, and with the introduction of Britches' "faith trots," where the minister runs across and back U.S. 285 during rush hour.

Prairie dog territories throughout the Denver metro area have followed the worsening conditions in Lakewood closely.

"I am pleased to state there has not been one confirmed case of plague here in Highlands Ranch," said Gordon Captooth, a public relations weasel who is a predator of and consultant for Burrowing Rodents of Douglas County. Speaking at a benefit luncheon for Flatpawed Prairie Dogs United, the beady-eyed carnivore said there was no threat of contamination to grass and vegetation, which prairie dogs rely on for food and bedding. Captooth concluded his remarks saying, "So, eat until you are chubby and go to sleep whenever possible."

In spite of the sickness and death, life goes on at Bear Creek Lake. Town leaders repeatedly remarked at how rates of burrow excavation and maintenance, foraging and grass clipping have remained steady, after adjustments are made for the fatalities. Many Lakewood prairie dogs not only persevere in their daily routines, but actually find comfort and strength in them.

"What am I supposed to do? Just stop standing on my hind legs and chirping and twitching my tail at signs of trouble? What then?" asked Murray Putterman, who stands on his hind legs, chirps and twitches at signs of trouble. The four-year- old Putterman said that he'd survived "brats with BB guns," two floods and the construction of a nature path.

"You tell me, what's a little more hardship and heartache after that?" Putterman said. "You like Elton John? I like Elton. I listen to him when the tai chi class comes here with the boombox. It's all the circle of life, and that means you gotta go sometime. In the meantime, you've got your green grass and you've got your dirt mound to stand on. Hey, what are we but squirrelly mammals anyway?"