On The Inside at
THE (UNOPENED)
DENVER SKATE PARK
Normally when I pull a pair of pantyhose taut in my hands, it's
for another reason, but this time I need someone to cut the two
legs free from the seat. There are six of us in the van and three pairs of hose, so
everyone gets a leg. We're racing towards our mark,
repeating the objectives to ourselves.
"In and out, real quick. We'll shoot what we need and
fuckin' evacuate." Pulling that hose down, your breath
feels real hot steaming out of your smushed nostrils,
moistening the nylon cage wrapped tight around your
head. I feel like an orange in the produce section.
Mad Deacon Brown is in back next to me, checking our
technical equipment. "Shit's charged dude, let's chop it
up."
Fuck yeah, "Chop it up!" we blare in unison. Deacon's
older brother, The Brown Trout we call him, cracks the
window and lights a breaker. "Hope we make it out of
this in one piece," he says, turning to blow smoke in
our faces.
"Watch that shit bro!" squeals Davey Two Pints.
Outside, it's black as the last banana, so I'm testing our
spotlight-- shining it right into the steely eyes of our
lookout, Ninja Slipper Jones; he doesn't even blink.
We're all a little fazed, all of us except our driver, Petey
Sausages.
We have our axes in our hands and are ready to make
our assault. When we hit our mark, Petey just slams on
the breaks and says, "Out motherfuckers, let's get
this shit done and through." When Petey opens
his mouth, you know he means business, so we
all bolt from the van and make our approach. A
confused construction crew is watching us from
across the street.
We find a low spot in the fence and start climbing in.
The Brown Trout trips a little on the chain-link and
stumbles in.
"Give away our position again, and I'll bleed you, real
quiet like," Sausages tells The Trout.
We break off in two directions: Me, The Trout, and
Ninja Slipper Jones hit the clover bowl, while Petey,
Davey and Mad Deacon flank the right side of the park
near the fish ladder and the dog bowl. I stand outside
the clover bowl. The spotlight in my trembling hands
gives the whole cement landscape an eerie glow. I can
hardly make out Mad Deacon on the other side of the
park, shooting photographs.
The tension is thick, and I can tell it's preventing
Brown Trout and Davey from throwing down their best
shit. We were hoping for some tit-high frontside airs,
but it looks like we're gonna settle for some carving.
"Time!" Sausages hollers. I'm gathering up my equip-ment
when I see the beams.
"Cops!" I bark in a whisper.
In our original teams, we dive into two different bowls,
keeping real quiet. As we wait, we hear the fuzz yelling
to each other about 50 yards away. Ninja Slipper sticks
his head out of the bowl a little. "Sausages, Two Pints,
and Mad D," he says. "They crawled to the fence,
they're getting away."
"All right you punks," comes a voice nearby, "I see you
in there. Get the hell over here!"
We take a moment to look one another in the eyes and
then all reach for our axes. As we run screaming and
swinging our skateboards at the cops, I'm thinking,
what does this all mean?
But then, caught in a hail of hot lead, I thought, life's
too $hort for questions. Sorry Moms, but Jimmy
Tyrone don't go quietly.
--Jimmy Tyrone
photos by Mad Deacon Brown
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Local Music
As Denver's premiere musical haven,
record store Twist & Shout is also a
proud member of the Coalition of
Independent Music Stores (CIMS), a
group of some of the best independent
music stores in America. CIMS was
founded in 1995 in response to the erod-ing
attention given to owner-operated
accounts by the music industry. Not only
has CIMS created recognition for the
efforts of independently owned music
stores, but CIMS has also helped various
new artists build their careers. Each year,
the Coalition holds meetings in a city
hosted by a member store. This year,
CIMS will meet in Denver July 17 to July
22. Twist & Shout has lined up evening
entertainment for the group and is excited
about a couple of shows that are open to
the public: July 20, Pete Yorn and Ben
Folds at the Gothic Theatre, 9 pm; and
July 21, B.R.M.C. at The Soiled Dove,
10 pm Twist & Shout will be giving
away tickets for these free shows. Call
the store for details (303-777-8050) or
stay tuned to
www.twistandshout.com
The next meeting of the Colorado Music
Association will be July 22 at 6 p. m. at
the Soiled Dove. This month's feature
will be a panel discussion among promoters
and bookers of musical talent at various
local venues and events followed by
a question and answer session.
Afterwards, COMA will host a brief
impromptu review by the panelists of
randomly selected original tunes submitted
by bands in attendance. These will be
off-the-cuff initial reactions, not detailed
critiques. Anyone wishing to submit a cut
for review should bring a CD clearly indicating
which song is to be played and
drop it into the box by the door. Everyone
is welcome and there is no admission fee.
Colorado Musicians Allied Promotions
(CMAP) is a full service artist promotion
company in Fort Collins. It seems bands
aren't the only things worth plugging into
these days. On August 3 through August
5, CMAP will host the Global Web
Concert for Youth, a joint venture
between CMAP and various corporate
and private sponsors. The proceeds will
aid the funding for a new Youth Activities
Center in Fort Collins. Forty-eight bands
will play during this all-ages festival at
The Duke of Windsor club in Windor
(club capacity: 600). While many acts are
Fort Collins favorites, the bill includes
many of Denver's best including Liz
Clark, Love .45, Rubber Planet, Ted
Reese, The Louts, Lynn Patrick, and
Danny Masters. Find out more online at
www.cmapmusic.com
--Judy B.
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