Volume 3, Issue 16
August 1 - August 15, 2001

PICKUP SHOTS

A. I. [PG-13 2h 15m] Okay, who told Spielberg he could touch Kubrick? Isn't that like Guns 'N Roses covering Beethoven? Starring: Haley Joel Osment, William Hurt, Jude Law, Frances O'Connor. Directed by: Steven Spielberg.

America's Sweethearts [PG-13 1h 40m] Once again, people who used to be fat but are thin now are the best people in the world. Starring: Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Billy Crystal, John Cusack. Directed by: Joe Roth.

American Pie 2 [R] Sex is funny if you're young enough. Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Eugene Levy Directed by: J. B. Rogers.

The Animal [PG-13 1h 17m] Duece Bigelow: hung like a bear. Starring: Rob Schneider, Colleen Haskell. Directed by: Luke Greenfield.

Blow [R 2h 4m] Mmmm É cocaine. Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Rachael Griffiths, Ray Liotta, Paul Reubens. Directed by: Ted Demme.

Baby Boy [R 2h 7m] Singleton just realized his royalty checks for Boyz N The Hood needed padding. Starring: Tyrese Gibson, Ving Rhames, Omar Gooding. Directed by: John Singleton.

Brother [R 1h 52m] Gangsta love Asian style. Starring: Takeshi Kitano, Claude Maki, Omar Epps. Directed by: Takeshi Kitano.

Cats and Dogs [PG 1h 27m] What happens when Dr. Dolittle leaves the room? Starring: Alec Baldwin, Tobey Maguire, Sean Hayes, Jeff Goldblum. Directed by: Larry Guterman.

Chocolat [PG-13 2h 1m] Sweet candy drives the French people wild. Starring: Johnny Depp, Juliette Binoche, Alfred Molina, Judi Dench. Directed by: Lasse Hallstrom.

Divided We Fall [PG-13 2h 3m] Czechs hide a Jew during the Holocaust. Starring: Bolek Polivka, Csongor Kassai. Directed by: Jan Hrebejk.

Dr. Dolittle 2 [PG 1h 30m] This time with an environmental message shoved down your throat. Starring: Eddie Murphy, Norm MacDonald, Lisa Kudrow, Kevin Pollak. Directed by: Steve Carr.

Evolution [PG-13 1h 45m] Killing aliens: exactly how will this help Duchovny break out of the Mulder mold? Starring: David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Dan Aykroyd. Directed by: Ivan Reitman.

The Fast and the Furious [PG-13 1h 40m] Wow, this movie is so much better now that Stallone's not in it. Starring: Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez. Directed by: Rob Cohen.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within [PG-13 1h 46m] Real live actors, kiss your asses good-bye. Starring: Ming-na, Alec Baldwin, James Woods, Donald Sutherland. Directed by: Hironobu Sakaguchi.

Jurassic Park III [PG-13 1h 32m] This time, the dinosaurs are ... oh who cares? Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Tea Leoni, William H. Macy. Directed by: Joe Johnston.

Kiss of the Dragon [R 1h 40m] Finally, kung fu movies are using the word 'dragon' again! Starring: Jet Li, Bridget Fonda. Directed by: Chris Nahon.

A Knight's Tale [PG-13 2h 12m] We will we will bore you. Starring: Heath Ledger, Mark Addy, Rufus Sewell. Directed by: Brian Helgeland.

Legally Blonde [PG-13 1h 35m] Sure took 'em long enough to make that Clueless sequel. Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Matthew Davis, Selma Blair. Directed by: Robert Luketic.

Lost and Delirious [NR 1h 40m] Lesbian hijinks with a message. Starring: Piper Perabo, Jessica Pare, Mischa Barton. Directed by: Lea Pool.

Made [R 1h 35m] Swingers go gangster. Starring: Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughan. Directed by: Jon Favreau.

Memento [R 1h 43m] This movie's about ... um ... I forgot. Starring: Guy Pearce, Carrie-Ann Moss, Joe Pantoliano. Directed by: Christopher Nolan.

Moulin Rouge [PG-13 2h 6m] A big-screen musical? At least it'll be weird. Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, John Leguizamo, Jim Broadbent. Directed by: Baz Luhrmann.

The Mummy Returns [PG-13] Indiana Jones and the special effects of doom. Starring: Brendan Fraser, CGI beasties. Directed by: Stephen Sommers.

Original Sin [R] If you're too pretty, love can be dangerous. Starring: Antonio Banderas, Angelina Jolie, Thomas Jane. Directed by: Michael Cristofer.

<Osmosis Jones [PG] Your body isn't a temple; it's a metropolis. Starring: Bill Murray, Chris Rock. Directed by: Piet Kroon, Tom Sito, Peter and Bobby Farrelly.

The Others [PG-13] The Haunting meets Bless The Child ... excuse me while I throw up. Starring: Nicole Kidman, Christopher Eccleston. Directed by: Alejandro Amenábar.

Pearl Harbor [PG-13 3h 3m] This one should make a mint overseas, especially in Japan. Starring: Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett, Dan Aykroyd! Directed by: Michael "Blow It Up" Bay.

Planet of the Apes [PG-13 1h 59m] The first time Mark Wahlberg isn't the most chimp-looking cast member in a movie. Starring: Tim Roth, Mark Wahlberg, Estella Warren, Helena Bonham Carter. Directed by: Tim Burton.

The Princess Diaries [G] Rags to riches all over again. Starring: Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo. Directed by: Garry Marshall.

Recess: School's Out [G 1h 24m] For those who like their stupid Saturday morning cartoons better in a dark theatre at night. Starring: Jason Davis, Ashley Johnson, Katey Sagal. Directed by: Chuck Sheetz.

Rush Hour 2 [PG-13] Next installment is Rush Hour 3: Rush Hour in Los Angeles. Starring: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Zhang Ziyi. Directed by: Brett Ratner.

Scary Movie 2 [R 1h 22m] Remember the tag line of the first one? "No Mercy. No Shame. No Sequel." No shit. Starring: Anna Faris, Tori Spelling, some Wayanses. Directed by: Wayans the Elder.

The Score [R 2h 4m] DeNiro must be done with comedies. Starring: Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando. Directed by: Frank Oz.

Sexy Beast [R 1h 28m] When a criminal goes in for "one last job" ... well, you know. Starring: Ray Winstone, Ben Kingsley. Directed by: Jonathan Glazer.

Shrek [PG 1h 29m] Supposedly funny groundbreaking animation. Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow. Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Victoria Jenson.

Songcatcher [PG-13 1h 53m] A musicologist stumbles into the Appalachians. Starring: Janet McTeer.

Spy Kids: Special Edition [PG 1h 33m] Huh? Shouldn't they wait 20 years or so? Starring: Alan Cumming, Antonio Banderas, Teri Hatcher, Cheech. Directed by: Robert Rodriguez!

Tailor of Panama [R 1h 49m] A Pink Panther for the new millenium. Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Geoffrey Rush. Directed by: John Boorman.

Tomb Raider [PG-13 1h 37m] Just like playing the game at home, only you're not allowed to spank off to Lara Croft in the theatre. Starring: Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight. Directed by: Simon West.