Volume 3, Issue 18
August 30 - September 12, 2001

PICKUP SHOTS

America's Sweethearts [PG-13 1h 40m] Once again, people who used to be fat but are thin now are the best people in the world. Starring: Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Billy Crystal, John Cusack. Directed by: Joe Roth.

American Outlaws [PG-13 1h 34m] Ho hum. Young Guns VI. Starring: Colin Farrel, Kathy Bates, Ali Larter Directed by: Les Mayfield.

American Pie 2 [R 1h 44m] Sex is funny if you're young enough. Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Eugene Levy. Directed by: J. B. Rogers.

American Rhapsody [PG-13 1h 47m] It's Home Alone, only it takes place in Hungary during the Cold War, so nothing funny happens. Starring: Nastassja Kinski, Tony Goldwn. Directed by: Eva Gardos.

Apocalypse Now Redux [R 3h 16m] One of the few times a movie has earned the right to exceed three hours. Starring: Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando. Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola.

Bubble Boy [PG-13 1h 24m] Actual line from press materials reads, "There's a 100% likelihood of an outbreak of hilarity and likely high jinks." Oh boy. Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Danny Trejo, Verne Troyer. Directed by: Blair Hayes.

Captain Corelli's Mandolin [R 2h 7m] Historic love triangle war drama ... hey, wake up. Starring: Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, Christian Bale, John Hurt. Directed by: John Madden.

The Closet [NR 1h 24m] How being gay can save your job in France. Starring: Gerard Depardieu, Daniel Auteuil. Directed by: Francis Veber

Curse of the Jade Scorpion [PG-13 1h 43m] It's, um, a movie, sheesh, see, by, um, Woody Allen. Starring: Woody Allen, Dan Aykroyd, Elizabeth Berkley, Helen "Not Again" Hunt. Directed by: Woody Allen.

Deep End [R 1h 39m] Finally, a movie about stashing a corpse that isn't a slapstick comedy. Starring: Tilda Swinton, Goran Visnjic. Directed by: Scott McGehee, David Siegel.

Divided We Fall [PG-13 2h 3m] Czechs hide a Jew during the Holocaust. Starring: Bolek Polivka, Csongor Kassai. Directed by: Jan Hrebejk.

Ghost World [R 1h 51m] Did "Daria" ruin this whole concept? Starring: Thora Birch, Steve Buscemi. Directed by: Terry Zwigoff.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch [R 1h 35m] Are all drag queen movies destined to become cult hits? Starring: John Cameron Mitchell, Andrea Martin. Directed by: John Cameron Mitchell.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [R 1h 35m] Just about every actor Kevin Smith has worked with picks up another check. Starring: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith. Directed by: Kevin Smith.

Jeepers Creepers [R] Maneating monster, scary basements, lost teenagers. Draw your own conclusions. Starring: Justin Long, Gina Philips. Directed by: Victor Salva.

John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars [R 1h 38m] I was wondering whose ghosts those were. Starring: Natasha Henstridge, Ice Cube, Clea Duvall, Pam Grier. Directed by: The guy whose name is before the title.

Jurassic Park III [PG-13 1h 32m] This time, the dinosaurs are ... oh who cares? Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Tea Leoni, William H. Macy. Directed by: Joe Johnston.

Legally Blonde [PG-13 1h 35m] Sure took 'em long enough to make that Clueless sequel. Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Matthew Davis, Selma Blair. Directed by: Robert Luketic.

Made [R 1h 35m] Swingers go gangster. Starring: Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughan. Directed by: Jon Favreau.

Memento [R 1h 43m] This movie's about ... um ... I forgot. Starring: Guy Pearce, Carrie-Ann Moss, Joe Pantoliano. Directed by: Christopher Nolan.

The Musketeer [PG-13] If God intended this many "Three Musketeers" movies, we'd all be born with long curly hair Starring: Catherine Deneuve, Tim Roth, Mena Suvari. Directed by: Peter Hyams.

O [R] Oh. Starring: Mekhi Phifer, Josh Hartnett, Julia Stiles. Directed by: Tim Blake Nelson.

Osmosis Jones [PG 1h 35m] Your body isn't a temple; it's a metropolis. Starring: Bill Murray, Chris Rock. Directed by: Piet Kroon, Tom Sito, Peter and Bobby Farrelly.

The Others [PG-13 2h 25m] The Haunting meets Bless The Child ... I'm not scared just thinking about it. Starring: Nicole Kidman, Christopher Eccleston. Directed by: Alejandro Amenábar.

Planet of the Apes [PG-13 1h 59m] The first time Mark Wahlberg isn't the most chimp-looking cast member in a movie. Starring: Tim Roth, Mark Wahlberg, Estella Warren, Helena Bonham Carter. Directed by: Tim Burton.

The Princess Diaries [G 1h 55m] Rags to riches all over again. Starring: Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo. Directed by: Garry Marshall.

Rat Race [PG-13 1h 52m] Originally titled A Fish Called Rat Race. Starring: John Cleese and any name actor they could get their hands on. Directed by: Jerry Zucker.

Rock Star [R 1h 44m] You know the phrase 'someday we'll all look back on this and laugh'? It's about to be tested. Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Herek.

Rush Hour 2 [PG-13 1h 28m] Next installment is Rush Hour 3: in Los Angeles. Starring: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Zhang Ziyi. Directed by: Brett Ratner.

The Score [R 2h 4m] DeNiro must be done with comedies. Starring: Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando. Directed by: Frank Oz.

Soul Survivors [PG-13] Tense psychological thriller with a twist ending ... should make $300 million. Starring: Melissa Sagemiller, Casey Affleck, Eliza Dushku. Directed by: Steve Carpenter.

Summer Catch [PG-13 1h 48m] Baseball, romance, no Kevin Costner. Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jessica Biel. Directed by: Michael Tollin.

Tortilla Soup [PG-13 1h 42m] The Latino version of Eat Drink Man Woman. Starring: Hector Elizondo, Raquel Welch. Directed by: Maria Ripoll.

Two Can Play That Game [R] I like games that can handle four players. Starring: Vivica A. Fox, Morris Chestnut. Directed by: Mark Brown

Vertical Ray of the Sun [PG-13 1h 52m] Hey, honey, feel like a terribly slow movie tonight? Starring: Tran Nu Yen-Khe, Nguyen Nhu Quynh. Directed by: Tran Anh Hung.