Volume 3, Issue 20
September 27 - Ocotber 10, 2001

PICKUP SHOTS

American Pie 2 [R 1h 44m] Sex is funny if you're young enough. Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Eugene Levy. Directed by: J. B. Rogers.

American Rhapsody [PG-13 1h 47m] It's Home Alone, only it takes place in Hungary during the Cold War, so nothing funny happens. Starring: Nastassja Kinski, Tony Goldwn. Directed by: Eva Gardos.

Apocalypse Now Redux [R 3h 16m] One of the few times a movie has earned the right to exceed three hours. Starring: Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando. Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola.

Big Trouble [PG-13] If you just can't get enough zany.... Starring: Tim Allen, Janeane Garofalo, Jason Lee. Directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld

Bread and Tulips [PG-13 1h 45m] Hitchhiking in Venice while being chased by a plumber isn't all it's cracked up to be. Starring: Licia Maglietta, Bruno Ganz. Directed by: Silvio Soldini

Captain Corelli's Mandolin [R 2h 7m] Historic love triangle war drama ... hey, wake up. Starring: Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, Christian Bale, John Hurt. Directed by: John Madden.

Curse of the Jade Scorpion [PG-13 1h 43m] It's, um, a movie, sheesh, see, by, um, Woody Allen. Starring: Woody Allen, Dan Aykroyd, Elizabeth Berkley, Helen "Not Again" Hunt. Directed by: Woody Allen.

The Deep End [R 1h 39m] Finally, a movie about stashing a corpse that isn't a slapstick comedy. Starring: Tilda Swinton, Goran Visnjic. Directed by: Scott McGehee, David Siegel.

Ghost World [R 1h 51m] Did "Daria" ruin this whole concept? Starring: Thora Birch, Steve Buscemi. Directed by: Terry Zwigoff.

Glass House [PG-13] Eeek! A killer! Better put on my push-up bra! Starring: Leelee Sobieski, Diane Lane. Directed by: Daniel Sackheim

Glitter [PG-13] Didn't Steven Seagal star in this movie a few years ago? Starring: Mariah Carey. Directed by: Vondie Curtis-Hall

Greenfingers [R 1h 31m] When small town British people enter a contest, any contest, a movie is automatically made. Starring: Clive Owen, Helen Mirren, David Kelly. Directed by: Joel Hershman.

Hardball [PG-13] Baseball. Whoa. Starring: Keanu Reeves, Diane Lane. Directed by: Brain Robbins.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch [R 1h 35m] Are all drag queen movies destined to become cult hits? Starring: John Cameron Mitchell, Andrea Martin. Directed by: John Cameron Mitchell.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [R 1h 35m] Just about every actor Kevin Smith has worked with picks up another check. Starring: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith. Directed by: Kevin Smith.

Jeepers Creepers [R 1h 30m] Maneating monster, scary basements, lost teenagers. Draw your own conclusions. Starring: Justin Long, Gina Philips. Directed by: Victor Salva.

John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars [R 1h 38m] I was wondering whose ghosts those were. Starring: Natasha Henstridge, Ice Cube, Clea Duvall, Pam Grier. Directed by: The guy whose name is before the title.

Jurassic Park III [PG-13 1h 32m] This time, the dinosaurs are ... oh who cares? Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Tea Leoni, William H. Macy. Directed by: Joe Johnston.

Memento [R 1h 43m] This movie's about ... um ... I forgot. Starring: Guy Pearce, Carrie-Ann Moss, Joe Pantoliano. Directed by: Christopher Nolan.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail [PG] Camelot is still a silly place. Starring: Monty Python. Directed by: Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam

Moulin Rouge [PG-13 2h 6m] A big-screen musical? At least it'll be weird. Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor, John Leguizamo, Jim Broadbent. Directed by: Baz Luhrmann.

The Musketeer [PG-13 1h 46m] If God intended this many "Three Musketeers" movies, we'd all be born with long curly hair. Starring: Catherine Deneuve, Tim Roth, Mena Suvari. Directed by: Peter Hyams.

O [R 1h 31m] Oh. Starring: Mekhi Phifer, Josh Hartnett, Julia Stiles. Directed by: Tim Blake Nelson.

The Others [PG-13 2h 25m] The Haunting meets Bless The Child ... excuse me while I throw up. Starring: Nicole Kidman, Christopher Eccleston. Directed by: Alejandro Amenábar.

Planet of the Apes [PG-13 1h 59m] The first time Mark Wahlberg isn't the most chimp-looking cast member in a movie. Starring: Tim Roth, Mark Wahlberg, Estella Warren, Helena Bonham Carter. Directed by: Tim Burton.

The Princess Diaries [G 1h 55m] Rags to riches all over again. Starring: Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo. Directed by: Garry Marshall.

Rat Race [PG-13 1h 52m] Originally titled A Fish Called Rat Race. Starring: John Cleese and any name actor they could get their hands on. Directed by: Jerry Zucker.

Rock Star [R 1h 44m] You know the phrase 'someday we'll all look back on this and laugh'? It's about to be tested. Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Aniston. Directed by: Stephen Herek.

Rush Hour 2 [PG-13 1h 28m] Next installment is Rush Hour 3: in Los Angeles. Starring: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Zhang Ziyi. Directed by: Brett Ratner.

Spy Kids: Special Edition [PG 1h 33m] Huh? Shouldn't they wait 20 years or so? Starring: Alan Cumming, Antonio Banderas, Teri Hatcher, Cheech. Directed by: Robert Rodriguez!

Summer Catch [PG-13 1h 48m] Baseball, romance, no Kevin Costner. Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jessica Biel. Directed by: Michael Tollin.

Tomb Raider [PG-13 1h 37m] Just like playing the game at home, only you're not aloud to spank off to Lara Croft in the theatre. Starring: Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight. Directed by: Simon West.

Tortilla Soup [PG-13 1h 42m] The Latino version of Eat Drink Man Woman. Starring: Hector Elizondo, Raquel Welch. Directed by: Maria Ripoll.

Training Day [R] A rookie cop gets teamed up with an old timer and all the rap stars show up. Starring: Ethan Hawke, Denzel Washington, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Macy Gray. Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Two Can Play That Game [R 1h 32m] I like games that can handle four players. Starring: Vivica A. Fox, Morris Chestnut. Directed by: Mark Brown