Volume 3, Issue 25
December 6 - December 19, 2001
by Stephanie Glenn
Dear Stephanie,
One year ago I was engaged to be married.
Thank GOD things did not work out due to me
walking in on him and his ex-girlfriend in our
bed, and much more.
I'm still not over it and have been scared to
really give myself to anyone since. I've dated,
just casual sex and friendship type relationships
until now. I started sleeping with this guy I've
known for almost 5 years. Girl!É let me tell you,
I never knew the definition of multiple orgasms
until now. The only thing is, he is a total playboy.
I knew this going in to the "friendship," but
really thought all of my emotions were buried.
"Don't get attached," I kept telling myself. "It is
just good sex." Well, I am starting to really like
the guy and I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt. Is
it just the sex I'm interested in or is it that I love
the challenge to get the playboy?
Playboy Hunter D
Dear Playboy Hunter D,
Anytime you're having great sex, not to mention
multiple orgasms, there is going to be a little
bit of attachment. It may not even be him you're
attached to, but the amazing feeling you have basking
in the afterglow. The main thing to remember
is there is no real challenge in "getting the playboy."
They are playboys, after allÉ everyone gets
them. That's why he has the mad skills! Lower
your expectations of him and think of him as nothing
more than a sex toy. Would you be afraid that
your super-deluxe-battery-operated-rabbit would
break your heart? No way! You would just use it
whenever you need those multiples and put it away
without another thought and get back to the business
of living your life. No one can hurt us unless
we let them.
Dear Stephanie,
My boyfriend has a major foot obsession.
He prefers it over every other form of sex especially
vaginal penetration. I'm getting so tired of
it. His favorite thing to do is masturbate while I
put my feet on his balls. He does this several
times a day, but won't attempt to do anything
for me and makes excuses to not have sex. What
do you think of this type of problem?
Lacking Satisfaction
Dear Lacking Satisfaction,
Which problem? His foot fetish, or your willingness
to stay in a relationship that gives you
nothing in return? I don't see any fetish as a problem.
Selfishness, on the other hand, is a huge issue,
a relationship buzz-kill. If he doesn't want to do
anything to please you and won't even have sex
with you then you need to figure out why you
choose to stay. In the meantime, I would wear big,
fuzzy slippers to bed and withhold your feet from
him the way he has been withholding everything
else from you.
Dear Stephanie,
I am in a broken-record relationship. While
first dating a woman the sex is frequent and
great. After six months or so, she doesn't want
sex as much and seems like I have to twist her
arm for it. This just didn't happen once, but
every relationship I've been in. Am I just having
bad luck, or are most women like this?
Forever Frustrated
Dear Forever Frustrated,
Since you say this has happened in every relationship,
you need to take notice of the fact that the
only common denominator is YOU. Is there something
you do in the beginning, that you stop doing
when the relationship hits the comfortable phase?
So many times men and women alike go all out the
first few weeks of a relationship with the compliments,
flirting, gifts, and oral pleasures.
Unfortunately, those things start tapering off and
monotony sets in. It is up to you to not let that happen--
especially the oral pleasures part. Keep the
activities and conversation fun and fresh and you
will keep them interested sexually.
Dear Stephanie,
I am a 42-year-old recently-divorced
woman. In the last month I have met three different
men. The first one is about my age,
attractive and successful. During our second
date he told me that he wants me to be his slave!
What does this mean? Will he want me to wear
a collar? Also met a 22-year-old who wants me
to be his teacher! Not to mention a married one
who just wants to get it on. My coworkers tell
me to go for it. What do you think?
Single Again
Dear Single Again,
I'll give you my advice if you give me whatever
it is you are emitting to attract all these men.
Let's begin with the man who wants you to be
his slave. What this means is that he wants to be in
charge. He wants to be dominant and that entails
him forcing you to do things that you may or may
not like. Most of the time they are sexual, however,
some men will put you to work with housecleaning,
cooking and laundry. Kind of sounds like marriage
to me. It is important that the two of you have
an open and frank discussion of what he has in
mind. This is a necessary conversation, just in case
he has sick fantasies that you will never accommodate.
You also need to designate a safe word, such
as "red" that you can yell out at any time to immediately
cease all fantasy play. Other than that, have
some fun, surrender and prepare for the sexual and
sensual experience of a life time.
Next, the young one. This happens to be a favorite of mine because of my immense appreciation of young, trainable boys. It seems to me, guys between the ages of 21-29 have less fear and bitterness. And they are so eager to please. What I suggest here is that you take some of the lessons the above mentioned master teaches you, and pass them on to your toy. Most importantly, teach him the proper way to go down on a woman. So many guys are clueless in that department. Also, when you enviably break his heart, teach him how important it is not to take it out on the next 100 women he meets. Try teaching that to an older, bitter, cold man who has enough baggage to fill a cargo train.
Finally, the married scum. Yes, that's how I feel about married men who think they can go around screwing whomever they want while hiding it from their wives. I understand that maybe all you want is sex from him, but just think of how many available men there are who would be instantly unzipping their pants with just a simple hello from you. You don't need the karma that this kind of deceit will bring you. I'm sure he feeds you crap like: "My wife doesn't fuck me anymore. It's been 2 years!" Well, just remember that she undoubtedly quit fucking him for a reason. Those reasons could range anywhere from body odor to diseases he brought home from other women he's cheated with as well. Stay away from that loser!
Also visit: Siren Online and Steph's Place
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