Volume 4, Issue 3
February 7, 2002 - February 20, 2002
by Stephanie Glenn
Dear Stephanie,
I have recently started dating an acquaintance
of mine. This past weekend we started having sex.
With that came the inevitable discussion about
protection and birth control. She is on birth control
pills, which she takes religiously and without
infraction. However, she is still paranoid about
the small chance of pregnancy (even though they
are nearly 100 percent effective when used as
prescribed), and insists that condoms are also
used. That's her hang-up.
Here's mine. I can't stand condoms. Condoms detract from pleasure, sensation, and intimacy. In fact, I can't feel a single thing when I wear a condom. I use them in the beginning of any physical situation with someone, but I insist on immediately replacing them with a combination of birth control pills, blood-testing, and monogamy. I am willing to pay for the pills and all of the blood testing, and to be sexually monogamous. None of this satisfies her, she STILL insists I keep wearing condoms. And condoms aren't even as effective as birth control pills are!
She and I have discussed this and concluded
that we are incompatible. She's mad at me and
thinks I'm a jerk. I feel like I at least tried to
meet her halfway on this. She wouldn't even go
that far. What are your thoughts on this? Am I
completely out of line, or is she?
--Raincoat Warrior
Dear Raincoat Warrior,
There are so many reasons that a woman
would want you to wear a condom beyond the
ones you have given. First of all, there are some
STDs that are not immediately detectable through
testing and some that are never seen until the
outbreak. Even if you get tested for the standard
4 STDs and HIV, there are still 21 more STDs
that are uncommon and usually not tested for.
Perhaps she doesn't want to immediately expose
herself to that danger.
Another thing is there are some women who are petrified of getting pregnant. That little added shield can be the difference between her having enough peace of mind to make it to the big O or not. You wouldn't want to deny her fantastic orgasms because of your selfishness, would you?
And what about the mess? Since condoms have become a necessary ingredient in sex, women all around the world are rejoicing at the lack of wet spots in their 300 thread count sheets. And what woman wants to walk around with your post-pleasure dribbles all day?
Finally, you listed monogamy as one of your cures to the problem. Let me just remind you about the millions of people who tell their partner they are monogamous and are out screwing around every chance they get. Anyone who has been in a few relationships can tell you that trust is something that takes some time. Not only that, I would be concerned that any guy who "Can't Stand" condoms has had a whole lot of unprotected sex. Not something that gives me, or anyone else, piece of mind!
If you are willing to put your selfishness on the shelf, there are some things you can do to improve sensitivity with condoms. The first is to use the polypropylene ones made by Avanti. They feel very natural, but they are more prone to leak than the latex ones, so you need to hold the base and withdraw immediately after ejaculating. If you stay inside too long after the big explosion, you could have to go in there and fish out the missing condom. The other is to put one to two drops of lube in the nipple at the tip of the latex condom, making sure you don't get any on the shaft of your penis when you put the condom on. Then when you are pumping away, the tip of the condom will move on the head of your penis and it will feel very natural.
DO NOT TAKE SEX TIPS FROM PORNOS
Dear Stephanie,
I am wondering about a continuing trend I'm
seeing in some porno videos I have seen lately.
A majority of the men cum on the girls' face at
the end of each scene. Is this the latest trend in
sexual preferences? Is it more common amongst
the younger generation of women and men? I am
a single guy who dates around and I want to make
sure I'm up to speed on all the latest techniques
and preferences. Are these so-called "facials"
now acceptable among females? I would like
your feedback before I start taking aim without
permission.
--Pearl Necklace
Dear Pearl Necklace, Do Not Take Sex Tips From Pornos! Face blasting under any condition other than a smarmy director yelling for the money shot is not advisable. There is absolutely no trend going on where women are begging for a face full of fluid. Do you know how much that stuff stings if it gets in your eyes?
Those movies are made for the pleasure of men, not usually women. Most movies have absolutely nothing to do with female pleasure and orgasm. It's all about the man. Have you ever noticed how many of these flicks show really hot women with short, chubby, non-sexy guys? It's whacking material for all the ordinary men who only wish they could find some hot and horny nympho to suck them and then ride them good and hard, all the while begging for a painted face. This is not reality and any man who tried this on me would soon discover he has no balls left-- and therefore, no ability to blast anyone's face.
Also visit: Siren Online and Steph's Place
All Rights Reserved © 2002 Go Go Media, LLC, Denver, Colorado