Volume 4, Issue 4
February 21 - March 6, 2001
by Stephanie Glenn
Dear Stephanie,
I don' t know the first thing about spanking
or domination and my boyfriend has informed
me that he really wants me to take charge and
do this. What should I do?
--The Unwitting Paddler
Dear Unwitting Paddler,
Depending on what his particular fantasy is,
there are many things you can do to dominate
him and punish him the way he deserves. If he
likes the naughty boy angle, you can set up a
scene where you catch him doing something he
shouldn't be doing and put him over your knee
and starting lightly--spank his ass. Then if he
responds well, you can begin to increase the
pressure to his liking, taking him to his most
erotic limits.
I once had a boytoy who loved to be caught sneaking into my lingerie. Sometimes I would catch him going through my drawers and sniffing the panties, other times he would actually be wearing the panties. Either way, when I caught him he knew he was in big trouble! He would try to get out of the inexorable consequences (all a part of his fantasy) but of course, he would get what he deserved! And no one can administer a spanking the way I can when I see a hot boy in my panties.
Some guys are not into the role playing, and just like to be lightly--or not so lightly--spanked while having sex. You can experiment with all kinds of positions. Just make sure you start gently and communicate with him about his fantasy and expectations.
Dear Stephanie,
Is there a good sex position, besides doggy
style, where I can do my girlfriend and spank
her too?
--New To It All
Dear New to it all,
Here's a fun position that allows for a little
spanking and a whole lotta loving all at once. You
sit on a chair or the edge of the bed with your
woman mounting you, facing away. Not only does
this make for deep penetration, it also gives you
a great shot at her sexy little cheeks. While she
rides up and down, you can slap and squeeze. You
also have a lot of control on how fast or hard
she goes. Grab a hold of her ass and guide her
to whatever speed you like and then in between,
throw in a few love pats.
Dear Stephanie,
I was hoping you could tell me if there is a
way to know if my wife would enjoy being tied
up? This is a fantasy of mine, but I am afraid if
I tell her about it she will freak out. Is there any
subtle way of knowing?
--Future Mr. Roper
Dear Future Mr. Roper,
I once knew a man who began to notice that
his partner liked it when he held her arms or
shoulders down during sex. Maybe that's because
the partner was me. I don't know what it was, but
something about him holding me that way made
me feel like I was helpless to him. I would have
gladly let him tie me down, but he never asked. I
wasn't asking for pain, just an erotic form of play.
A surrendering of power.
I think for a lot of women it is difficult to just lie back and receive pleasure, and one of the reasons why being tied up or down works for them is that whatever happens from that point on is ultimately out of their control. They have no other choice than to surrender and receive the pleasure. It' s also an amazing turn-on. So, to see if your wife might be receptive to this idea, try just holding her arms down during a kiss or sex and see how she responds. Does she breathe harder, seem more excited? This could be a subtle permission for you to take charge. Also, you can say things to her like, "Have you ever imagined yourself completely powerless to my pleasuring every inch of your body?"
If she responds in a positive way, then I would say it's pretty safe to move forward. Just make sure the first time you do it you use something soft (like silk scarfs) so she can easily escape if necessary. Also, don't be afraid to let her do it to you, as well. Sometimes even suggesting she tie you up will provoke her to ask you to do the same. And if you decide to use something like handcuffs, please don't get the kind that need keys!
Also visit: StephanieGlenn.com
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