Volume 4, Issue 11
May 30, 2002 - June 12, 2002
By Kity Ironton
Photos Courtesy K. C. K-Sum
There have been many talented bands to emerge from the Denver scene and achieve National recognition and success, but none of them quite so legendary as the locally loved Warlock Pinchers.
A decade after their demise, the infamous "Official Sound of Satan" logo can still be seen strolling downtown streets on the backs of Warlock brethren, many of whom tuned in during the post- Pincher era. With a tribute album just released, and a tremendously successful tribute CD release party under their belt, we grabbed our bag of artificially flavored orange circus peanuts and sat down for a chat with the one of the Pinchers' notorious frontmen, K. C. K-Sum.
James Dean is an overrated ass-hole.
In 1987, a handful of high school seniors and a four-track recorder launched cassette recordings and ultimately inspired the release of the first ( not yet satanic) official Warlock Pinchers record This is the cobbler and he hates your... (My Tongue Records, 1987).
"It all started at Heritage High School --and there were like eight people in the band at that time," said Karen Carpenter K-Sum. "Later in the year, when we went to school in Boulder, we released 500 copies of James Dean is an Overrated Asshole . Our goal was to think as little as possible about college, and as much as possible about the band."
The band, renowned for their raucous behavior and rowdy live shows, soon gathered a faithful following --as well as a reputation for being disorderly and mocking other local bands. "We opened for Steel Pole Bathtub several times. We would fight with them on stage during our set, and they would wrestle with us during their show. It started a sort of rivalry, all in good fun. We actually had chants making fun of them."
"But by mid 1988 --around Halloween, we were opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Butthole Surfers at the Glenn Miller Ballroom. The Surfers' show was amazing; the Chili Peppers' show was horrible. The Chili Peppers' crowd hated us, so we started making fun of the crowd. We ended up using the last minutes of our song time as heckling time."
We wanted our live shows to be about so much more than just playing songs....
The Warlock Pinchers toured the country on school breaks. Their shows, usually booked as an opening act, were often only twenty minute-long sets. They would choreograph their shows by adding foot switches to run their own stage lights, and then surprise the audience by throwing powdered Kool-Aid, or unleashing a giant Tiffany head that shot silly string out her eyes. "We wanted our live shows to be about so much more than just playing songs."
"We were a truly grassroots effort. We would promote the hell out of our shows, and that's how we got respected --and abused-- by Nobody In Particular Presents. Unlike some of the other bands in town, (NIPP) knew that we'd really promote our shows and distribute a cool flyer. We played crazy NIPP shows with bands like Mudhoney, Third Base, and the Dead Milkmen's Pinch A Loaf was released in 1988 on My Tongue Records." We released 500 copies of Pinch a Loaf . We could afford the vinyl for the records but not the art production for the sleeve, so we hand screen-printed all 500 ourselves."
The Pinchers also began to merchandize madly. The mail order catalogue became a Christmas list of t-shirts, watches, yo-yos, lighters, comic books, golf tees, and even six die cast metal cars dubbed as "The Pincher Mobiles." "This was before the world wide web, so it was hard to get people to recognize you out of state. People would buy our vinyl records when we were on tour and then write to mail order stuff. If someone ordered a T-shirt, we would pack it full of flyers, photos, stickers, tickets, and maybe even some of our trash from lunch."
People would hear about us being on stage naked, wrapped in Saran wrap, throwing raw meat.
Deadly Kung Fu Action --still a favorite on many college play lists across the country-- was released by Boner Records in 1990. "We were really well distributed with Boner Records, (the album) was all over the place. We had big shows across the country. Boise and Salt Lake City shows were as big as they were here. People would hear about us being onstage naked, wrapped in Saran wrap, throwing raw meat-and they'd come out to see us. As uninhibited as we were here, some of our tour shows were even more out of control. We'd just go totally nuts when we played out of state."
"We made a video for "Where the Hell is Crispin Glover" and it got sent to MTV, I think by Boner Records. It was actually the "Hip Clip of The Week" on 120 Minutes. We also had a laser show on the CU Campus "Laser Pinchers." We were able to show videos and slides along with the laser lights. King Scratchie drew some really bad drawings. It was great. The first show sold out, so we had to add a second show. We made T-shirts for the laser show as well."
We decided to sign our own death warrant.
The Warlock Pinchers were never far from contro- versy, and their ties with the University of Colorado's Campus Program Council was about to be terminated, permanently.
"We just didn't want to play Quigley's ( on-campus lounge) again, the crowd always seemed dead. So we decided to sign our own death warrant with the Campus Program Council."
Close friends with the controversial art-inspired band The Haters, the Warlock Pinchers told the Program Council that the Haters were from Sweden and needed to headline the show. Infamous for debauchery --sometimes leaning towards destruction-- all in the name of art, the Haters took the stage with an old couch, a box of lukewarm hot dogs and a couple of high-powered smoke bombs. Twenty minutes later, The Haters were long gone --as was the crowd-- and the Campus security stood in a smoke-filled, Oscar Mayer-like stinking pile of couch fluff--that used to be their campus-run (and secured) lounge. "They actually tried to take disciplinary action against us as students. The song and the comic book "We Got The Beast" were written about that night."
Maybe a six, and a six --and well, another six?
The official Cheerleaders of Satan, which many believe to have inspired Nirvana, The Reverend Horton Heat and even Marilyn Manson-burst on the stage in 1991 with the release of the song Morrissey Rides a Cock Horse , arguably one of the best received and most infamous Pincher tunes. Still available from almost every major record store, even the conservative censorship-supporting chain WalMart (perhaps unknowingly) has the Official Sound of Satan release currently listed on its internet site. But Satan's Cheerleaders still stole the show. "We declared ourselves the "Official Sound of Satan." I was watching this old '70s flick about cheerleaders that got possessed, but they weren't hot or satanic or anything."
The band contacted a professional cheerleading uniform supplier and convinced them to embroider the then-controversial 'Satanic' logo. Traditionally, the uniform cheerleading skirt has a two-digit date embroidered on one corner. This gave KC K-Sum an idea. "Could we use three digits?" And they said "Sure, which three numbers?" "Um, I dunno, maybe a six, and a six --and well, another six?"
"When we opened for Faith No More, we only played for 20 minutes but I think everyone remembers the cheerleaders from that show. They were around for a long time. People could actually order autographed glossy photos from the mail order catalogue."
The drummer was a real dick.
The Warlock Pinchers won Westword's Best Band Merchandise in 1991 following their final release, Circusized Peanuts (Boner Records, 1991). The Pinchers' following --and reputation-- began to skyrocket, landing them on national as well as international play lists. However, silly rumors and misunderstandings also followed.
"People will say things like the drummer was a real dick, or I knew the drummer, or I was the drummer. If people make stuff up about the band, it's always about the drummer. We never had a drummer.
"And then there was an Oklahoma religious program producing a video on Denver as a Satanic Cult Capitol. They read our lyrics, did interviews and showed clips. It was really funny. Anybody who had ever spent five seconds at the show knew it was a joke."
I saw the Pinchers last show, now I'm going to kill myself .
"In 1992 we decided to quit while we were still having fun, so we decided to have one last tour and one last show in town. It was at the Gothic Theatre, though some people swear it was at Rock Island. We calculated our own demise; we wanted it to be huge. We even made T-shirts for the show that said "I saw the Pinchers last show, now I'm going to kill myself..."
You can't be a legend in your own time....
A Warlock Pinchers tribute album entitled Imposters with 31 flavors (tracks) was released this month, a decade after the group disbanded.
Included on the CD are local favorites Cindy Wonderful, Mr. Pacman, and Reverend Vox, as well as nationally known Scott Baio Army, The Haters, and The Melvins, to name a few. The CD also features a hysterical composition of a conversation with Crispin Glover and Donkey Kong, well worth the CD's purchase price alone.
"We've always consistently sold the records --meaning they have never been out of print. There seems to be a current resurgence in the band's popularity, and recently more and more people have been talking about the band. Charles Russell, from Across The Trax, started talking about doing a tribute concert or an album. I thought if bands were going to learn the songs, it might as well be documented on a CD."
So the burning question . . will this tribute be followed by a Warlock Pinchers' reunion? "You never know," says KC K-Sum. "I'm not saying it will never happen, but who knows? If the momentum continues, it would be more likely. We're hoping to put out a CD later this year with rare Pinchers stuff--live recordings, stuff from compilations, and covers never before released." "I will tell you, that as much as we wanted to be hugely popular and play gigantic shows at gigantic venues, the focus was always on the fun."
The Warlock Pinchers, at least in Denver, are still --and perhaps will always remain-- a legend. We were curious to know what K. C. K-sum thinks makes a band 'legendary?'
"Longevity. That's why, in most cases you can't be a legend in your own time. I don't know if we wanted to be legends. We wanted to be memorable. Ultimately to give something that people would talk about after the show, so the next time we played, they would remember the name of the band."
Ten years later the Warlock Pinchers remain truly unforgettable, of course-and one more thing I forgot to mention, Morrissey (still) rides a cockhorse.
All Rights Reserved © 2002 Go Go Media, LLC, Denver, Colorado