Volume 4, Issue 11
May 30, 2002 - June 12, 2002

Siren Chat

by Stephanie Glenn

Love you long time. . .

Dear Stephanie,
My lady friend tells me that her last man was able to have super long and multiple orgasms. I am tired of having this thrown in my face and a part of me doubts the validity of her bragging. I asked a friend of mine about it and he said he has actually heard of these marathon orgasms. So, I thought I had better bring it to the expert. What is the real truth about the one-hour orgasm. . . fact or fiction? --Seeker of Pleasure

Dear Seeker of Pleasure,
There has been info about the one-hour orgasm in the media quite a bit over the last 10 years. It's based on some research at Moore University. During the '60s and'70s they tested several couples on sex and communication and offered some classes all about sexual issues and techniques. The results of these classes were compiled by Dr. Bob Schwartz. Bob then wrote a book called The One-Hour Orgasm . Here's the scoop. . .

It is possible to have an extended orgasm. Or as some other books call it, an ESO (an Extended Sexual Orgasm). What you . re doing is basically maintaining a one-hour state of higher levels of pleasure. If you are going on a scale of 1-10, you need to keep the intensity somewhere around an 8. Men have to keep it below a 9 or they will ejaculate. Women can have multiple orgasms for an hour, but they cannot do it at a 10. So, the trick is to learn to maintain around 8 or 9. Think about how wild it would be to stay at the actual climax of an orgasm for such an extended amount of time. Unfortunately, that is not possible, and believe me I have tried. You can, however, have it off and on, especially women because they have multiple orgasms a lot easier than men.

With the male multiple orgasm, you go through what feels like an orgasm, but you don't allow yourself to ejaculate. And from what I hear, it feels as good as going to a 10 every time. This doesn't just happen over night. Physiologically your body needs to be trained, because it's not immediately natural to extend sex for an hour or two, especially at peak states. But it is definitely something that's worth training your brain and your body to do!

Now that you know she's not making it up, it still doesn't excuse her bragging. If I was with someone who was throwing the skills of an ex-lover in my face I would send them right back to that person. It sounds to me like she is playing games with your self esteem and perhaps you need to move on.

Dear Stephanie,
I'm scared I could be on the verge of losing my boyfriend. We have been together for a couple of years and the passion is fading. What can I do to make him more interested again? -- Lost that Lovin

Dear Lost that Lovin,
It's pretty common for a couple that has been together a long time to lose some excitement. But look at it as a new challenge. You need to focus on introducing romance, sensuality and experimentation into your sex life. Don't let the rut continue. Take note of these no-no's. . . .

Don't have sex in the same place and position all the time.
Don't argue in the bedroom. It gives the bed a negative energy and association.
Don't complain. Nothing is more of a turn off than someone who is negative and constantly bemoaning their life.
Don't let yourself go. So many people, once they are involved, gain weight and ease up on their hygiene habits. Sometimes it can be something as simple as bad breath to make someone lose the mood. Other times it's the newly aquired 40 pounds that sends the erection into swift nosedive.

Sometimes adding a little pizzazz can be as simple as having sex in a different location. If you are always doing it in bed, try the kitchen, the bathroom or anywhere else that might make you feel out of the routine. What about the time? Is it always right before sleep? Try morning sex or even better, make a date for the middle of the afternoon. How about position? There are hundreds of different positions you can incorporate into the routine to make it a little less routine! Here are a few more ideas to add some zest. . .

If you are usually naked, try wearing some lingerie that needs to be pulled up or aside. Most men enjoy having to untie or unzip something to find their way to the hidden treasures.
Do a little role playing. Once when I was giving my boyfriend a massage, we started pretending to be therapist/ client. For a long time we let the tension build of having an attraction but fighting to maintain professionalism. Then, like two chained animals, we broke free of the restrictions and went wild with each other. There are so many possible scenarios. Just let your imagination guide you.
Add a little change of scenery. Go to a bed and breakfast, ski lodge, beach house or camping. Any new environment will add a dash of freshness to a staggering sex life.
Rent some adult movies or read a sexy book together.
Add a lubricant, massage oil, or food to the session.
Bring in a wing man! Go to an adult novelity store and invest in a few sex toys and games.
Have phone sex with each other, or call someone to talk to the both of you.
Use fantasy conversation during sex. Make sure to incorporate all the senses. Use rich, descriptive words to convey what you are feeling.
Go to a tantric seminar. There is so much to learn about this mysterious, erotic art. Your sex life will never be the same.
Venture to do things you don't often do sexually: Exploring the G-Spot, giving or receiving oral sex, or maybe even a little bondage and spanking.
Have more communication about what you would like to try and how much you desire to please each other. Sometimes just candidly talking about sex will add some life.

Have a question? Contact Stephanie Glenn at sirenweb@aol.com.

Also visit: StephanieGlenn.com