Volume 4, Issue 18
September 4 - September 17, 2002
by Stephanie Glenn
Dear Stephanie,
I heard you on the CJ morning radio show in New Orleans today and I
am so glad that I did. I am 27, married with a 10 month-old, and I love to please
my hubby. I can remember a time that he would have to beg me to give him
a BJ, but now he never has to ask. I, 9 times out of 10, initiate the action.
We have been together for five years, married for almost three. Since I have
had our baby, two things have changed:
1. I want more sex more often than I did before and way more than he
wants.
2. He is not so thrilled about going downtown since he watched my daughter
being delivered.
Is this normal for couples to go through? How do I get him to get over what he saw during delivery and desire me orally again? --Neglected Needs
Dear Neglected,
After a baby comes into a relation-ship, there are usually a few sexual
changes that occur. However, it . s mostly the women who lose the drive, not the
men. You are the one going through all the hormonal changes, not him. You are
the one who has had major trauma below the waist, not to mention 9 months of
feeling fat, crazy and basically like a different person, not him. He sounds like
he is being lazy and selfish in bed.
Since your e-mail is about the hundredth one I have received from women who let their man watch the baby come out, only to have him not want to go down again, I feel it's time to let women know: DO NOT LET HIM WATCH! Have him there by your side holding your hand, wiping your sweat, feeding you ice or WHATEVER, but NEVER, EVER let him see your body expand and issue forth a living thing. I know that he will tell you that he loves you and wants to experience that with you, but don't. So many times I hear the same thing: "He's disgusted by my body now. He won't go down."
As far as your man goes, Neglected, he needs to grow up and get over the fact that he saw your womanhood stretched to the limit, popping out a kid, and remember that you are a sexy and deserving woman. Just remind him that there are several other men out there who haven't witnessed this scene with you, who would love an invitation to have dinner at your country house down south, anytime.
Dear Stephanie,
I have been married for over four years now, but have come to the point
to where I want something more in the bedroom. When my husband has pissed
me off, which these days is on a daily basis, I want nothing to do with him.
It's not uncommon that I will go for weeks of no sex because he has turned
me off. In fact, I will more than likely be divorced before the year's end.
But for now, for the first time, I am looking for a handy little toy to keep
me entertained. I have read your piece about the Rabbit and the Vigel, they
both sound yummy. I have also noticed that the older I get the more I want.
What I really want now, almost exclusively, is oral sex. I have realized that I
desire a man to go down on me from the git-go. I mean, I want him there first
before he enters me. I don't want him to penetrate me until I have had at
least one orgasmic scene from him licking and sucking and fingering me. My
stupid husband had the nerve to ask me the day if I had turned on him, due
to the fact that I enjoy him eating me much more than screwing me. I really
don't care if he ever screws me again. What do I tell him?
--Wondering
Dear Wondering,
It not only sounds like you have turned on him, it sounds like that divorce
you mentioned should be a lot sooner than before the year's end. If he is pissing
you off on a daily basis, then get rid of him. I think that the reason you don't
want penetration from him anymore is that you are disgusted by him and whatever
it is he has done to make you so mad. If you were with someone you
respected, you would want everything. Great oral sex is amazing, no arguments
here, but the satisfaction that comes from a good pounding is the icing on that
oral sex cake. First thing you need to do is tell him it's over. You can still have
occasional booty calls with him if you need his tongue from time to time. Men
hardly ever turn down a late night call from a horny ex. Also, keep your
nightstand full of toys and VIGEL, and keep your purse full of numbers from all the
hot guys you encounter out in the world.
Before you know it, you will entering the realm of the fully functioning
sexual babe and the distant memories of bittersweet orgasms on the face of
someone you would rather punch will miraculously disappear.
Also visit: StephanieGlenn.com
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